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Wamenya Ute ko uwo Muzarushingana Atazagutenguha

Kubona umukobwa cyangwa se umusore wo kwizerwa ngo wemere ko muzabana igihe cyose, wizeye ko azakubera uko wifuza ngo ntibyoroshye kuko usanga akwereka urukundo nyuma mwabana ugasanga araguhindutse ugatangira kubihirwa n’ubuzima.

Urubuga rwa internet marriage.about.com ruvuga ko ngo ahanini ibi biterwa n’uko usanga hari abamarana igihe kinini mu rukundo hanyuma igihe kikazagera bakumvako bagomba no kubana nk’umugore n’umugabo, ntibagire icyo bitaho kuko bumva ko bakunzwe kandi bakanakunda, bakumva ko ibyo bihagije kugira ngo bazagire urugo rwiza. Uru rubuga rero ruvuga ko ibi ngo bitaba bihagije rwose kuko umuntu uba witegura kuzabana na we ubuzima bwawe bwose, ari ngombwa ko uba wafashe igihe gihagije cyo kumwiga no kugenzura neza niba koko muzahuza muri byose bityo ukabona kwemera gufata icyemezo cya burundu cyo kubana na we akaramata.

Ushobora kumva ko bigoye kumenya niba uwo mugiye kubana azakubera mwiza ariko ngo iyo habayeho gushishoza mbere y’igihe ushobora kumenya uko uwo mugiye kurushinga azakubera cyangwa se uko azagufata ni mugera mu rugo rwanyu. Ibi ngo bikaba ari byo biguha ishusho hafi nyakuri y’uko urugo rwawe ruzamera ariko ngo utitonze neza ukaba ushobora kuzubaka ariko ntiwigere ugira umunezero mu buzima bwawe waba uri umukobwa cyangwa se umusore.
Dore rero ngo ibyo ugomba kwitaho mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyaburundu:

1. Ibyishyimo n’ubufasha bw’uburyo bwinshi

Aha ngo ugomba kumenya ko ibyishimo n’umunezero biturutse ku rukundo mufitanye mwembi ari yo nkingi y’urugo rwiza, ndetse no guhora wishimiye umufasha wawe. Ibi rero ngo kugira ngo umenye ko uwo ugiye gushaka azakubera mwiza kandi n’urugo rukakugwa neza, mbese ukishimira ubuzima bw’urushako ngo ni uko no mu gihe mukiri abasore n’inkumi mukundana ubona ko umukunzi wawe akugaragariza ibyishimo afite, agukorera ikintu cyose cyatuma nawe wishima, ndetse ukabona ko musangiye byose n’ibijyanye n’amarangamutima yanyu. Uyu ngo ni we uzatuma wishima kandi akazakubera uko wifuza nimurushinga.

2. Uko akwitaho n’uko akugaragariza urukundo

Reba uburyo uwo mukundana kandi wifuza ko ari we mwazarushinga, akwitaho, ibyo agukorera, ko amenya ibyo ukeneye mu rukundo no mu buzima busanzwe, ubufasha akugaragariza , hanyuma nusanga bimeze nk’uko ubyifuza, akwitaho, agutetesha, ikigero cy’urukundo aguha ndetse n’imyumvire ye ku bijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina nta kibazo kirimo umenye ko ari ishusho y’ibyo azagukorera nimugera mu rugo rwanyu.

• Akwitaho gute iyo urwaye, unaniwe, yita kubigushimisha, arakwihanganira, iyo waguye mu ikosa arakubabarira, yishimira kuba kumwe nawe igihe kikinini, arakumva , arakubaha, ashimishwa n’uko umeze neza, hari ibyo agukorera nta cyo agamije, yubaha inshuti zawe n’umuryango? Ibisubizo by’ibi bibazo biguha ishusho y’uko uzabanaho n’uwo mugiye kurushinga.

• Reba ko koko umukunda nta kindi urebyeho ahubwo umurebye nka we wenyine. Atari ikindi umukundiye nusanga atari ibyo ntuzirirwe ubana na we kuko ibyo umukundiye bindi mushobora kubana bigashira hanyuma ukabihirwa n’urukundo.

• Suzuma ko yubaha abandi, ko agira ikinyabupfura kandi ko yita ku bintu. Ibi rero ngo uzabimenyera ku tuntu duto cyane nko gushimira igihe yakorewe ikintu runaka, kunyurwa no kwita ku bandi kabone n’ubwo mwaba mutari kumwe.

3. Guhuza intego z’ubuzima

Reba ko igihe muri kuganira ku byo mwifuza kuzageraho niba koko muhuza , nubwo abantu batahuza imitekerereze n’imyumvire ariko ngo hari ibihe biba byuzuzanya, rero ngo byiteho mutazashwana muri mu rwanyu bitewe n’uko hari ibyo wifuza gukora mutumvikanaho. Nubona ntacyo byatwara imibanire yanyu n’urugo rwanyu ruzaba rwiza.

4. Kubwizanya ukuri no kwizerana

Uzakubera umugabo mwiza cya ngwa se umugore mwiza akubwiza ukuri kabone n’iyo ryaba ari ikosa yagukoreye. Ikindi kandi ngo arakwizera, usanga atagushyiraho ingenza cyangwa se ngo ahore yumva ko wamuca inyuma. Ntazifuza kugenzura ubuzima bwawe ahubwo azifuza ko mubusangira. Usange ashaka kubaho mu buryo ubayeho mbese ashaka ko muhuza muri byose.

Mbese uzasanga akubwiza ukuri utabimusabye kandi akwereke ko agufitiye ikizere.

Ikindi ngo cyo kwitabwaho mbere yo kurushinga ni ukureba imyitwarire ye mu gihe mugiranye ikibazo uburyo abyakira uko agira uruhare n’ubushake agaragaza kugira ngo bikemuke, niba ari umuntu ukorera ikosa agahita arakara akamara nk’ukwezi atarakuvugisha ubwo ngo ntaho aba agukinze rwose kuko nimunabana ukamukosereza ari uko bizabagendekera.

Rero ngo niba nta rukundo ruhagije ubona, kwitabwaho no guteteshwa, kubahwa n’ibindi bya ngombwa bituma abantu bubaka bakagira urugo rwiza, ntiwizere ko uzabibonera mu rugo mwabanye kandi ngo ntuzigera ugira umunezero kuko ibyo wifuza n’uwo wifuzaga atari byo uzaba urikubona.
Shyiraho Igitekerezo!

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