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Ibintu 10 biranga umuntu uzaba umubyeyi mubi

Umusore cyangwa inkumi hari ibintu bigaragaza ko naramuka ashatse akabyara (cyangwa n’iyo yabyara atarashatse) yazaba umubyeyi mubi niba atabihinduye. Ibyo ni :

1. Urashaka kuzamutwerera ibyakunaniye


Ntiwashoboye kuba Padiri, ubu uri kuvuga uti “nimbyara umwana azaba Padiri ye ! Muri secondaire nzahita mwohereza mu iseminari !” N’ubwo 96 % by’abize mu iseminari (harimo bamwe muri twe) bataba abapadiri, hari umuntu ugumana akantu ko kwicuza kuba ataramubaye, kimwe n’abicuza kuba batarabaye abaganga, abakinnyi bakomeye n’ibindi, bakumva ko nibabyara abana bazabibabera. Niba utekereza utyo uzaba umubyeyi mubi, ushyira igitutu ku mwana we atitaye kubyo we ashaka cyangwa akunda.

2. Nta kwihangana wigiramo

Iyo umwana avutse turishima ariko kugirango azakure biratinda kandi birarushya pe ! N’ubwo abagore (Imana ishimwe yo yabahaye kwihangana kuturusha) aribo bazwiho iyo ngeso nziza, umugabo nawe asabwa kwihanganira uwo mwana kugeza akuze. Niyo mpamvu niba utihangana uzaba umubyeyi mubi wirirwa yibaza impamvu umwana yanduza ibyo yambaye, impamvu arira cyane, impamvu arwaragurika, impamvu atinda kumva ibintu, impamvu ateza akavuyo mu nzu n’ibindi.

3. Ntuzi management

Si ngombwa ko wiga Management muri Kaminuza ngo ube manager mwiza, ntaho bihuriye ! Niba udashobora gushyira umutungo wawe ku murongo, ngo ushake amafaranga kandi umenye kuyacunga neza kakubayeho ! Iyo ubajije abazungu bamwe impamvu babyara abana bake, cyangwa batinda kubyara, baragusubiza ngo “ Having a child is costly, I can’t afford it !” Bishatse kuvuga ko kubyara no kurera bihenda. Nawe rero niba utazi gufata neza umutungo wawe, imyenda (debts) ikaba ikugeze aha, ntibizakorohera kuba umubyeyi.

Aha ariko nanone twirinde gukabya, kuko benshi muri twe bavukiye mu bukene, kandi ababyeyi babo babafashe neza muri duke bari bafite. Ibyo byatewe n’uko babaye ba managers beza muri duke.
Niba usesagura cyane, ukaba uri umutekamutwe (wiba, ukura amenyo n’ibindi) kugirango iminsi yicume, nta bu-manager mbonye aho !


4. Ukunda ko abantu bose bahora bakurangamiye

Niba ukunda ko abantu bose ari wowe bareba, bizakugora kuba umubyeyi. Niba uri umugabo, umugore wawe nabyara azita ku mwana wawe kukurusha ; niba uri umugore, abahanga bavuga ko iyo ubyaye urukundo hagati yawe n’umugabo rusa nk’urugabanutse, n’ubwo bitamara igihe. Inshuti n’umuryango wawe nabo bazaha urukundo uwo mwana kurusha wowe.

Ikindi ni uko iyo umugore atwite umubiri we urahinduka cyane, bikaba bitamushimisha. Harimo n’abagore bahitamo kutonsa abana babo ngo amabere atazagwa... Kuba umubyeyi rimwe na rimwe bisaba kwiyibagirwa ukita ku mwana, haba ku mugabo cyangwa ku mugore.

5. Uri umunebwe


Niba ugira ubunebwe n’ukwiganyira ntuzaba umubyeyi muzima. Niba udashobora kugirira isuku ibyawe, aho uba n’aho ukorera, banza utegereze mbere yo kwitwa umubyeyi. Ubwo se umwana niyiyanduza, cyangwa akanduza mu nzu uzabigenza ute ? Niba utubahiriza gahunda zawe, ngo umenye ibyihutirwa ubihe umwanya, ube responsable, uzaba umubyeyi mubi.

6. Ugira isuku nyinshi kandi ntuzi kwiyoroshya

N’ubwo umwanda ari mubi, kugira isuku ikabije cyane nabyo ntibizakorohera igihe uzaba ufite umwana. Uzajya ushyira ibitambaro ku meza n’intebe aze abikureho abikandagire, tapis ayinyareho, yurire uburiri bwawe yambaye inkweto cyangwa ibirenge bitoze, yandike mu bitabo byawe, numuterura akwanduze… Niba uri umuntu usanzwe utari flexible bizakugora pe !

Ntawe ukubujije kugira isuku, ariko tangira wakire ko umwana naza byose bizahinduka...

7. Ntiwubaha Imana n’abantu

Niba utubaha Imana n’abantu uzaba umubyeyi mubi kuko uzajya ukora ibintu bibi muri sosiyete. Kwanza uwo mwana ashobora no kutavuka kuko ushobora kumukuramo (niba uri umukobwa), cyangwa ukabwira umukobwa wateye inda akamukuramo, ibyo mu Rwanda bikaba bifatwa nko kutubaha ikiremwamuntu, mu gihe amadini yo atubwira ko ari icyaha.

Niba utubaha Imana, ntiwubahe abantu, ibaze urugero uzaha uwo mwana wawe ! Niba se unitwara nabi ku buryo butandukanye (uburiganya, ubusinzi, kurwana, kwiyandarika, kutita ku buzima bwawe), urumva uzamuha ibyo udafite ?

8. Urateganya inyungu kuri uwo mwana

Hamenyerewe ko abakobwa (gold-diggers) biteza inda ngo bagumane n’abasore, ariko hari n’abasore (womb-raiders) batera inda inkumi kugirango zitabacika. Niba uwo mwana asamwe mu nyungu z’umwe muri mwe, icyo ushaka si uwo mwana, ahubwo ni inyungu zindi. Ibi nabyo ntibyatuma uba umubyeyi mwiza.

Shyiraho Igitekerezo!

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