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Wabyitwaramo Ute Igihe Ufashwe no Gufuha

Gufuha ni ibyiyumviro buri wese aba yaragize. Benshi muri twe bihita vuba kandi ntawe bikomerekeje cyangwa bisigiye uruguma. Ariko iyo gufuha bibaye byinshi bishobora gusenya umubano hagati y’abantu.

Hashobora kuba hari igihe kera ukiri muto, waba warigeze gukeka ko inshuti yawe magara yaba igiye kujya imarana n’undi muntu igihe kinini kuruta icyo mumarana, ibi bikagutera umunabi. Uyu munabi nta kindi niwo gufuha.

Gufuha ntibiba ku bato gusa kuko hari n’ubwo mu rugo, umugabo ajya afuhira umwana yibyariye kuko abona umugore we igihe hafi ya cyose aba yitaye kuri icyo kibondo, bikabanza kumutonda ariko akazagera aho akabimenyera.

Abantu batari bake bemera ko gufuha biri mu rugero ari byiza kuko byerekana ko witaye kuwo ufuhira, ko umutekerezaho, ko wifuza kumukorera ibyiza n’ibindi.

Mu gihe umusore n’inkumi bakundana, hakunze kubaho kwikanga ko abandi bantu bashobora kubinjirira mu mubano, ugasanga nk’umusore aratekereza ko bazamutwara inkumi ye cyangwa se inkumi igatekereza ibisa n’ibi, bityo gufuha bikaba byatuma batabasha kwishimisha mu gihe bari kumwe kuko bamara igihe badatekerereza neza.

Ibi si byiza na gato kuko usanga umubano wawe na mugenzi wawe warawugize kwirirwa ukeka ibishobora kuba, aho gutekereza ku birimo biraba by’ukuri. Akenshi abantu bafite abo bakundana bafuha bikabije, bakunze guhorana ubwoba kuko baba bazi ko akantu akari ko kose katanagize icyo kavuze gashobora kubyara ikibazo cy’ingutu.

Niba wifuza kuba wahashya iyo ndwara yo gufuha ikumungira ubusa, aha hari inama ugirwa :

- Sobanukirwa neza ibyiyumviro byawe

Mbere ya byose banza usobanukirwe ko gufuha kwawe ntaho guhuriye n’umukunzi wawe, ahubwo kujyanye n’uko witekerezaho wowe ubwawe. Niba wowe ubwawe wiha agaciro, uzasanga ko umukunzi wawe yahisemo kugumana nawe kuko agukunda kandi ashaka kuba ari kumwe nawe.

Iyo umeze utya ntago wabona akanya ko guta utekereza ko umukunzi wawe yaba afitanye ubushuti rwihishwa n’abandi kuko ubona wowe ubwawe wihagije kandi nawe umuhagije.

Ese ubundi ni mpamvu ki ubona umukunzi wawe yagucika agasanga undi ? Ni mpamvu ki ubona hari abandi yakurutisha ? Iyo ugerageje gutekereza impamvu ashobora kuba agukunda, bikakugora kuzibona burya ntuzagire uwo urenganya wundi ahubwo ni wowe ubwawe uba utifitiye icyizere gihagije kandi kutigirira icyizere ni intandaro yo gufuha no kubura amahoro bikanarangira nawe uyabujije abandi.

Ikindi cy’ingenzi ni kureka gushaka amakosa ku bandi. Ntago ari ikosa ry’umukunzi wawe kuba hari inkumi runaka yamusekeye mu birori mwarimo cyangwa se kuba hari umusore waganirije umukobwa w’inshuti yawe mu mudoka mugiye ahantu runaka. Iyo ufuha nta wundi muntu wabikumara uretse wowe ubwawe, ni wowe ubyitera kandi ni wowe wabyimara.

- Rwanya kumva nta mutekano ufite

Gufuha ni kimwe mu bintu bitera kutagira umutekano muri wowe. Bityo niba ushaka kugira uwo mutekano, bwira umukunzi wawe neza utamubeshye uko utekereza kandi wirinde kuba wateza amahane, urugero “Ndumva mfite ubwoba bw’uko hari undi mwazakundana bigatuma undeka” aho kuvuga ngo “Kuki uvugana n’uriya mugore ?”

Niba ufite ibyiyumviro nk’ibi, humeka neza usubize agatima impembero, uniyumvishe ko ari iby’agaciro kuba umukunzi wawe agufite. Nicyo gihe cyo gusobanukirwa ko kutagira umuteka no bitaza gushira mu ijoro rimwe ukabyuka bitagihari ko ahubwo ari indwara ugomba guhashya nkuko barwanya kunywa itabi cyangwa inzoga.

Hari ubwo gufuha ushobora kuba warabitewe no kuba warigeze gucibwa inyuma n’undi muntu mwakundanye mbere, bikaba byatuma uhora iteka umutima uhagaze ufite ubwoba bw’uko byakongera bikakubaho yewe n’ubwo nta kimenyetso cyaba kikwereka ko byabaho. Ibyiza ni kwihingamo kugira umutekano aho guhora uhagaritse umutima ku busa.

- Igira ku byahise uhangane n’ukuri

Kugira ngo witware neza kurushaho, icyo ugomba gukora ni kureba niba nta myitwarire idahwitse waba ufite ikaba ariyo yatumye ugirana ibibazo n’abo mwagiye mukundana mu bihe byahise. Urugero rwa hafi ni uko ushobora gusanga gufuha kwawe ariko nyirabayazana y’ibibazo wagiye uhura nabyo mu bo mwagiye mukundana.

Uretse ibi, ugomba gusobanukirwa n’uko kurakazwa cyangwa kubabazwa n’ubusa ntacyo bizagufasha, wibande ku birimo biraba aho kuba ibyo ukeka ko biba naho ubundi bishobora kugusaza, wibande ku bigenda neza hagati yanyu aho kwibanda ku bitagenda neza bityo bizagufasha kugera ku cyo wifuza.

- Shaka ubufasha ku mukunzi wawe cyangwa inshuti

Niba warigeze ufata umwanya ugasobanurira umukunzi wawe ibyiyumviro byawe, ushobora kumusaba kugufasha kuva mu kibazo cyo gufuha. Aramutse yanze, birashoboka ko yaba atari uwo ukeka ko ariwe.

Urugero naguha ni nk’uko ushobora kumumenyesha ibintu bishobora kuba bikagutera gufuha nicyo wifuza ko yagukorera muri ako kanya kugira ngo bihoshe, aha navuga nko kuba yagufata ku rutugu, yagusoma ku itama n’ibindi.

Gusa uhore uzirikana ko nta kindi kirenze ibyo yakora kuko ari wowe ubwawe ugomba gukemura icyo kibazo cyo gufuha.

Kuvugana n’inshuti yawe ya hafi ushobora gusanga byagufasha kugira ngo ube wamwigiraho n’ibindi bijyanye nabyo. Rimwe na rimwe inama z’umuntu wo hanze zishobora kugira akamaro.

Urugero rw’icyo ashobora kugufasha ni nko kukurebera aho ikibazo kiri akaba yagusobanurira icyo abona cyaba igisubizo kuri icyo kibazo.

Shyiraho Igitekerezo!

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